Balder
by TearsofaFangirl
Summary: Balder has a secret, one Loki and Thor have been protecting since they were children. But when the gods are transported to another realm, Balder's need becomes untamed once again, and with Loki's worry and jealously, Thor's love and Balder's desires all growing, it will take more than a young human girl to save them from their misunderstandings. (Possible LokiXBalderXThor)
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So this starts off about half way through the second episode. It's just a cracky plot I thought up of a while ago, though as I wrote it started to become a lot more serious. Though it's not as formal as the ThothXZeus one ;) **

**Enjoy :)**

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Sprawled out on one of the thicker branches of the tree Susanoo slept against, Loki grinned as he watched the scene below him. It was only a matter of time before he woke up, and Loki couldn't wait to see how he would react.

It wasn't one of his greatest pranks, but seeing as that fishy bastard had let down his defences, who was he to pass up the chance of bringing a little fun to his life. He was so moody all the time anyway, and Loki was sure this would liven things up a bit. The guy seriously needed some excitement in his life. It wouldn't do if Loki was stuck with people as unfun as him until they had come to 'understand humanity' (whatever that meant.)

He was beginning to grow bored, and had started considering throwing a stick or something at Susanoo to wake him when he heard Yui's voice. He peered down at her, chuckling softly as she laid eyes on Susanoo's face.

She was an interesting creature. It wasn't like he hadn't interacted with Japanese gods before, but they tended to be the proud but polite men whose anger at being tricked would rage through the town until people thought them either mad or blessed. It was so amusing. But she fell a little flat compared to them. She seemed too good-hearted, too pure for a place like this. And though Zeus claimed to have good intentions, if he knew Balder's true nature he would have never brought a weak goddess like her here. Other gods could survive it, Balder's strength and power coupled with his desire and lust meant that should he turn his eyes to Yui, it would be fatal. And from the way he was blathering on about her last night, it seemed he already had.

He pursed his lips in thought, watching her quietly as she roused Susanoo. The mirrored device she used to show him Loki's art was interesting. As he shifted on the branch, he made a note to steal it later to get a closer look at what it was. Her reaction to the sea god's face wasn't as shocked as he'd hoped it would be (she hadn't even laughed), but Susanoo's surprise and his anger when Loki dropped down, hanging from the branch by his ankles more than made up for it.

As he ran from Susanoo, knowing the sea god would never catch up to him, he headed back towards the chambers of the Norse Gods. He wanted to tell Thor about his success, wanted to see his brother give one of his slight smiles and see the softness in his eyes as he listened to Loki excitedly tell him how he tricked the other god. He knew Thor would give a disapproving look and scold him at first, but he would soon be chuckling along with Loki as he continued with the tale.

Though Balder had always put a strain on their relationship, they still managed to have fun without him, even though Loki sometimes felt like he was doing all the work. With Balder it was even more awkward, as the intense mix of his memories and his affection for him left Loki conflicted. But he had learnt now how easy it was to pretend everything was okay even though a simple smile from Balder could throw him off.

It only took a few minutes to lose Susanoo. The ocean god had no idea how to properly climb trees or jump from building to building, so with a few quick hops to the top of one of the trees that stood near the dorms and a large leap, he landed on the balcony that led to the common room of the Norse chambers.

He pushed through the glass doors, his eyes scanning the room. There were four doors on the surrounding walls, the one straight in front of him opening into the corridor that led to the rest of the dorm. The other three led to their bedrooms, Loki deliberately taking the single room on the west side of the chamber so he wouldn't have to hear Thor and Balder during the night. When they were younger he would always hear Thor pass by his rooms on his way to Balder's, and he hated it, hated knowing where he was going and hated that he knew that Thor was looking forward to what Balder would do to him.

In the centre of the room sat a table and three chairs, with a large couch and chairs to the right, and other furnishings like cabinets and such lined the walls. Loki saw no use for those apart from when he needed somewhere to throw the various toys and sweets he kept on him.

But as he walked through the doors he saw no hint of Thor and Balder, and began to relax until he heard a familiar moan echo out from Balder's room. The door was open, and even though the lights were dimmed, Loki knew what they were doing.

His heart sunk, his eyes dimmed as his grin vanished. There was a flicker of nervousness in his stomach as he slowly moved towards the open door, hoping that for once he was wrong. It made him uncomfortable hearing it. He knew what was going on in that room, what Thor was doing to protect Balder and the other gods, and he hated it. He never wanted his brother to go through such a thing, and despite the fact his soft gasps and moans sent an uncomfortable heat rolling through his body, Loki could never accept that Thor was happy.

Even before he reached through the door, turning the lights up and looking upon his brother and his friend, he knew he was right. Because Balder's secret, the need he tried to hide so desperately - it was only something he could control with the help of the seals Odin had placed on him. And even when they were young his desire was only sated by Loki's willingness to let Balder have him.

He shuddered just remembering it. The scenes that plagued his dreams left him sweating in the night. Thor was stronger than him, claiming he enjoyed Balder's touch, the way his mouth ravished his body and the pain of his tightened grip as he swallowed his meal. He didn't know how his brother could stand it. Though there was pleasure there, as Balder did everything he could to make the one he was devouring enjoy themselves, the pain had always been too intense for Loki.

Balder had taken his fill last night, but it seemed that he was still craving more. Loki didn't want to imagine what kind of horror would befall the other gods of the realm should his desires go unfulfilled. He was just glad Thor had been transported along with them. Not that he wasn't willing to replace Thor in his duties of keeping Balder's passion in check, but he would rather it was someone who enjoyed themselves rather than him, who would cry and gasp pitifully as Balder took him.

Eyes closed, turned on his side, Thor faced the door, shirtless, Balder mounting him on the middle of the bed. Their hands clasped tightly, fingers entwined, Balder leant over his brother, his mouth hovering by Thor's ear. It wasn't hard to guess what Balder's next move would have been if Loki hadn't interrupted them.

He held back the urge to shout, to show how hurt he was. He had seen this scene repeatedly for what felt like eons but each time he caught them it was like a fresh stab wound. The pain never lessened and despite the fact he knew that Thor went to him once a week, knew that Balder touched him in ways Loki would never feel again, he still felt betrayed. Because they had always been together, they had always been close and no matter what had happened, Balder and Thor were still there for him, still his, and he had always believed nothing could break the bond they shared.

"Couldn't you at least wait until nighttime?" He said quietly, glaring at the pair, surprised at the softness of his voice and how evident his pain was. "There're still people around." Not that it would make a difference. Thor had never been loud, and with Balder in control, there was no reason for the god of light to make more than a gasp.

Had it been anyone else he would have simply laughed at the scene, making fun of their awkward positions and the blush that flushed on Thor's cheeks as he realised he'd been caught. But the fact that it was his brother, a man he had respected since they were both boys who was letting Balder pin him down was enough to make him feel embarrassed and ashamed at what they were doing. It wasn't like he hadn't seen it before, but the fact they were doing it in the middle of the day where anyone could catch them was not only dangerous, but crushing.

Was Balder really so desperate that he had to take Thor during the day? And why was his brother just graciously accepting it? Just because they had left Asgard didn't mean that the rules had changed. Or maybe they were just taking advantage of the fact that Loki had been out.

His good mood ruined, he didn't wait to hear their excuses, and abruptly left, heading straight for his own room and slamming the door to let them know how pissed off he was. He didn't care if it was childish or immature, he was angry and hurt that they were trying to sneak around behind his back.

He had barely had time to calm down before there was a knock at his door. "Loki." His heart jumped at the sound of Thor's worried voice. "Loki, can we talk?" He didn't want his brother to sound so pitiful, but it was his own fault. And talking to Thor and Balder was the last thing he wanted to do.

So jumping out the window and onto the tree outside was more of a gut reaction than anything else, but he didn't care. He'd rather run away than have to look at the happy and guilty glow surrounding the pair as they tried to apologise. He had heard it a million times before and each and every time he caught them they always said the same thing. That Balder just _couldn't_ help it

Liars.

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**AN: Next chapter should be coming soon ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

To protect the gods outside of the family, Odin claimed that Balder was the god of strength, of light and purity, and represented all that was good in the world. From the moment of his birth, Odin knew that there was something special about the young god. As Balder clasped one of his long braids between his tiny hands, gurgling happily as children do while he chewed on the tip, Odin felt the boy's power and saw the curse he carried, and then decided on a name. Few knew that Balder's namesake was the result of a notorious 'dad joke', though Thor didn't consider himself lucky to be one of them.

And as he grew with Thor and Loki by his side, his personality began to darken. With Huginn and Muninn repeatedly taking Loki's memories to stop him going mad as they years of satisfying Balder's hunger went on, Loki was blind to the changes taking place within their brother. But Thor saw it all.

To the other gods of Asgard, Balder was the embodiment of perfection. Endlessly kind, gentle-natured and loved by all, no god, creature or being had any quarrel with him. Even Odin pretended not to her or see the torment that Loki was suffering despite being it's direct cause.

But behind closed doors it was a different story. Thor was never sure why, but it was harder for Balder to hide his true personality when they were together. He had hoped that it was because he felt more comfortable around him, but Balder wasn't the type to open up so easily even though he loved being everyone's friend.

He never showed that side of himself to Loki, which irritated Thor more than anything else, as his brother constantly believed that anything Balder did that was even vaguely sinister wasn't his fault. Loki refused to see the threats behind Balder's words the violence in his actions, and the fierceness he displayed when he took his hunger out on Thor. Thor was certain that Loki believed that the scars that bit deep into his neck where a sign of love rather than need, and that the moans Thor gave were ones of pleasure rather than pain.

And so, when he caught them together, Thor couldn't help but blush. Because he knew Loki would blame him for this, he knew that he would see it as a weakness on his part instead of Balder's, and he knew his brother would blame him for 'giving in' to Balder's whims.

Thor wanted to say something, to apologise or ask him to join them, just anything that wasn't the guilty look he gave to Loki every time he caught them. But before he could even open his mouth, his brother left, the betrayal he felt evident in his voice.

"How boring." Balder pouted, releasing Thor's hand and sitting back, his thighs still clasped around his.

Anger flashed in Thor's eyes as he shoved Blader off of his body, instantly regretting it as his head thunked against the wall. "Temper, temper." He chided, softly rubbing the back of his head as he winced mockingly.

"You did this deliberately." It was more of a statement than a question. He knew how Balder was, and Thor's suspicions had already been raised when he had claimed he was hungry in the middle of the day. It wasn't an exact science, but he knew his brother well enough to know that Balder would never grow hungry twelve hours after he had fed. Thor would have refused but when he made passing comment about how good Loki was looking recently, he knew he had to protect his brother, and Balder loved to take advantage of the fact that Thor would do anything for Loki if it meant keeping him safe.

Thor knew it made him easy to manipulate, and there were times when he regretted how deeply he had allowed himself to care for his brother. But Loki didn't remember how bad their childhood was, how his screams rang through the halls of Valhalla as Balder took his fill, and how terrified he would become at the simple thought of being alone with Balder. Though he claimed to remember what had been done to him, Thor knew from the way he reacted that only pieces of his memories had returned, because no matter how long it had been, Thor would never forget his screams of terror or the sight of his tear-stained cheeks as pleaded with Balder to let him go. And though he hated how guilty he felt and how betrayed Loki looked every time he caught them, it was better than hearing Loki's cries as his memory fully returned. He would do whatever was needed to prevent that.

He moved from the bed, grabbing his shirt and awkwardly threading his arms through the sleeves as he tried to think of what he could say to Loki.

A slow smile spread curled Balder's lips as he shrugged innocently. "Maybe if you hadn't moaned so loudly he wouldn't have caught us."

He knew Balder was baiting him. If they were younger he would have risen to his jibe, lashed out at Balder and taken out his anger out on him, but he knew that was what Balder wanted. He loved playing people like puppets, especially when they followed his predictions exactly. He wouldn't give Balder the satisfaction of seeing his anger, so he merely sighed as he buttoned up his shirt.

He was more worried than angry, but this had happened so many times when they were teenagers that Thor had stopped panicking and desperately searching for his brother, terrified that Loki would never talk to him again. As the years wore on he began to see that Loki's feelings for Balder meant he would never abandon them, and no matter how much it hurt to see Loki slipping farther and farther away from him, it eased him to know he would never be upset for more than a day.

He stepped through the door, aiming straight for Loki's room. He hated feeling like this, feeling like he was letting down his brother by trying to protect him, but there was no other way. Even if Loki took over from Thor and let Balder use his body, he would never be happy. Though Thor would never allow something like that. He had granted Balder the use of his body under the condition that he would never touch Loki, and he planned to stay true to his word until the curse was removed. Thor had tried to think of some way he could explain to Loki that this was for his own good, to stop hurting him without the memories of his past resurfacing, but the fact that Balder enjoyed seeing the pain in their brother's eyes and would laugh at Thor's reaction to the thought of losing Loki forever made it hard to explain.

He knocked on the door, calling his brother's name. He needed to know how angry Loki was, and how quickly he would forgive him. Thor had spent nights upon nights worrying about Loki, his mind filled with the fear that his brother would come to hate him even though everything he was doing was to protect him. Though it wasn't hard to guess from the way Thor let himself be dominated, he did enjoy seeing how Balder changed when he was overcome with hunger. The strength he showed as he gripped him, pinned him down and took him was incredible, and he delighted in seeing how Balder lost control of himself when Thor was under him.

There were times when he went to far, his need taking him over and causing Balder to lose himself in Thor, his nails digging deep and drawing blood, or his cheeks flushing as he gave into it. He didn't hate it, in fact he loved the burn that came with the pain and seeing Balder weaken, but the anger that flared within Loki as he saw the marks on Thor's body caused his guilt to get to him and he couldn't help but hate himself for giving in.

He didn't like how he was, didn't like that his body enjoyed it, but it made life easier. He had seen how Loki had struggled when Balder took him, the fear in Loki's eyes in the beginning when Odin held him down, and it pained him when Loki's feelings for Balder made him weak to his touch. Or at least, that's what Thor believed. He had no idea how deeply Loki's love for Balder ran, or even if he had realised himself how he felt, but when Thor saw the soft smiles and looks he had only for Balder, it made him ache.

He tried the handle, opening the door to find his room empty, the window open and the curtains fluttering in the breeze. He sighed again as Balder's soft steps drew closer. He glanced back at him as an snaked around his neck. The gold in his eyes had reduced to small flecks scattering his irises, a sign that his apparent hunger had vanished despite the fact that Balder had done no more than run his lips along the curve of Thor's neck. Though seeing how Balder had reacted to Loki's entrance, he was unsurprised that he'd lied.

In the space of the minute it took for Thor to cross the common room, Balder had pulled on some trousers and was holding his shirt causally in one hand.

"Come back to bed." He purred. "I'm hungry."

He shrugged off Balder's hand, scowling. "Then starve." He said coldly, grabbing his jacket heading straight for the door. He needed to find Loki before he did something stupid, and knowing his brother, it would be soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:** okay so as this goes on im going to start reveling more things about their past together and it's going to stray into the dubcon area of things but it shouldn't get too bad. this is just a warning just in case you don't want to read anything like that. this chapter isn't so bad but in think in the next few it'll get worse

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He was angry. That was a slight understatement as the rage that coursed through Loki was nothing short of relentless.

He had always felt this anger. Ever since he had discovered Thor and Balder it had simmered beneath his surface just waiting to burst out, and though he usually kept it under control, laughing it off and playing crueler and crueler tricks to try and rid himself of the uncomfortable heat, there were other times when it was near impossible. Like when Balder insisted on talking about how wonderful Yui was, or when Thor came to him after he had been to Balder and the gentle blush and rasp in his voice still hadn't faded.

His anger was insatiable, much like Balder's hunger at times, and it was one of the many reasons he held sway over fire. His anger and the fire's desire to destroy were one and the same, and in times like these he was thankful for his power.

But not anymore.

He wanted to hurt someone, hurt something, make them feel the frustration that was winding him up. But with Zeus's limiter binding him, choking him and making him feel like a dog on a leash, he had no choice but to vent his frustrations in other ways.

And he knew just who to play with.

He wasn't an idiot. From the way Balder looked at her, touched her, spoke of her and dreamed of her it was obvious he was in love. Though it hurt Loki more than he would care to admit, at least it gave him ammunition.

What was it about her he loved so much? They had known her for less than a week yet she was all Balder thought about. Loki and Balder had been together for centuries, they had gone through so much together, laughed and loved and anguished to the point where Loki believed that Balder felt the same as he.

Even now, after years upon years of hearing Thor and Balder in the night, of seeing the marks on Thor's body the next morning, of knowing that Thor had gone to him willingly he still held onto the hope that Balder would love him.

But Thor and Balder had gone on for so long that Loki's trust in them and himself had worn down. He was tired of hope, tired of believing in the men he once called brothers, and tired of wishing that he could just be happy.

If he hurt Thor, not only would Loki hate himself, but it was draw him even further away from them and he would never be able to repair that. But if he hurt Yui?

Thor was loyal to Balder, his love keeping him close to the god of light, but he knew his brother had no attachments to her. Though he would chastise Loki for treating a goddess in such a way, the scorn wouldn't last, and anything he did to her would have no permanent effect.

Though he didn't know much about Eastern Gods, he couldn't imagine they were any weaker - in physical form, at least.

He didn't want to think about it any more. Why should he consider the consequences of hurting her when not once had they thought about him? He didn't care that wasn't a part of Balder's stupid curse, and he didn't care that Thor was most likely deeply in love with him. All he wanted was his friend's back.

He wanted to see Balder smiling openingly as he did when they were young instead of those calculated smiles that never quite reached his eyes. He wanted to see Thor let loose and run with them in the snow instead of holding himself back under the pretense of being the older, responsible brother. He wanted to bring back the times where he wasn't fearful when it came to entering Balder's room lest he catch them, when he didn't feel elated from a simple touch of Balder's hand, and a time where the moans that filled his dreams at night were replaced with simple nightmares of an abandoned child.

The realm that Zeus had forced them into was too small to just run away. There was no-where he could go where Zeus wasn't watching, and there was nothing he could do that could rid the anger smouldering within him. He wanted to scream his frustration away, but not even that luxury was granted to him.

But there was one advantage to the tiny cage he had trapped them in.

It only took him twenty minutes of storming round the grounds, trying not to think of how angry Balder would be, how upset Thor would look and how betrayed Yui would feel at what he wanted to do. He had no solid plan, but the image of her being consumed by flames as Balder watched on in horror was preferable to most of the other things he'd come up with so far.

As he rounded the corner to the girls' dorms, he saw her standing there, dressed in some kind of two-piece uniform that she was somehow required to wear whenever she held her wooden sword. He didn't understand such customs, but he wouldn't question it. He didn't really care, though he had to admit that he enjoyed the way it shaped around her body as she swung the sword, calling out with each slash. But that was probably because it had felt like decades since he had last seen a female god.

Just the sight of her made him scowl.

"Yui~" He sing-songed, dancing up behind her. As she turned he hopped to the left, hiding behind her back back before hopping to the right as she turned again. Childish, but it wasn't like she was any better.

As he jumped in front of her, tapping her nose gently as he looked down at her. Small, dainty, and even though she held a wooden sword that was nothing about her that screamed 'goddess'. For one thing, it was strange that she was the only female here (though from the rumours he had heard he couldn't imagine Zeus's wife would be happy at the idea of him creating a realm for his little whores.) And from what he could see she was weak. Why would she train with a sword if she was anything but?

"Oh, Loki." She smiled softly, relaxing instantly.

"Now what are you doing all alone out here?" His eyes glinted as he grinned.

"I'm just practising." She gave a small shrug as she lifted up the sword to show him.

"Hmm." He hummed playfully, raising his hand to the sword.

His finger sliding down the edge, a smirk curling his lips as he drew close. He suddenly grabbed the wooden sword, his fingers digging deep into the wood. The splintering was loud in his ears, the shocked look on her face sending a rush of excitement through him. Without thinking he tried to set it aflame.

He held her eyes, his head tipping back haughtily as he gave no impression that he had just realised once again that he was without power. It was a shame, as he would have loved to see her burn, but there were other ways he could play with her.

"Do you dance?" He asked, yanking the sword from her grip and throwing it to the ground.

"W-What?" He assumed she was thrown off by the fact he had destroyed her sword. No matter. Now that he was here he could think of a perfect way to get back at Balder. It wouldn't necessarily hurt Thor, but that had never been his intention in the first place.

Grabbing her hand, he tugged her close to him, ignoring her cry of surprise. "Let's dance." He grinned widely. It wouldn't hurt to mess around with he first before he got to the serious games.

He twirled her, spinning her out away from his body until their hands barely touched before pulling her back into a pirouette before holding her close again. His hand curved around her back as he entwined their fingers, dipping her low and bringing their lips close.

"Not bad, not bad." He purred playfully, even though he was the one in control.

He tightened his grip, his eyes darkening as he let the anger seep through. His eyes ran across her face, trying to find something, anything that would convince him that she was better than him. She wasn't ugly, but he couldn't see the attraction, and though she was nice enough it wasn't as if the women back home weren't the same.

"Um...Loki?" He paused, his smirk dropping as he sighed. He had no desire to continue with this. He knew it was petty and childish and he knew that the anger would eventually fade to the point where he would regret his actions, but that hadn't deterred him before. What put him off now was the fact she stared up at him so innocently, like she had no awareness of what a danger he could be.

He had least wanted her to struggle, to realise he was stealing from her when he took her lips. But it seemed that the Eastern Gods had no concept of this, or maybe she was just raised in such a small cage that she didn't even consider the danger. Or maybe she didn't even see himself and the others as men.

That would be a laugh, especially if Balder poured out his feelings to her and she didn't understand the concept of love.

"Loki!" Balder's voice rang out through the trees. Loki froze, his eyes flickering upwards to see both him and Thor striding towards them, Balder's face marred with anger at the sight of them.

Loki's interest bloomed again. Perfect. Now he knew for sure this would work.

He threw a smirk at the pair as they drew closer, a feeling of glee welling up inside him at Balder's anger as he lifted Yui and lowered his lips to hers.

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**AN:** so i basically traveled home roughly week ago and i left my charger at my other place (i've been waiting a week for a new one to arrive :T) so i have been writing much less than I've wanted to.

im planning on doing a 30 fic challenge (more info on my profile) but I can't start until I go back which won't be for a week, but I'll post a list of story titles/prompts nd the pairings im going to be writing about just so that you get an idea of what's coming ;)

not gonna lie, i was definitely expecting the two to be, er, smarter. Not in an intellectual way, it's just I always imagined that Balder would keep his yandere side toned down and be a lot more manipulative and careful about how he was in front of yui because he wanted her to like him (aka: _not to lie right in front of her face_ like jfc). and i didn't expect Loki to be so childish? ugh, sorry, i just kinda need to bitch about that cos i had loads of plans for this fic but i feel like this is going to change how im actually going to present it.

im going to try and keep the characters as I originally intended, so if you see something in here that makes you thinks 'that isn't very IC' then it's probably going to either be about Loki _hiding_ his feelings so that he doesn't look so bloody gay (I mean come on, even though it's gay af it's called a reverse harem for a reason) or Balder acting like everything's okay so he's not so emotionally dependent on yui.

i mean, they are meant to be gods who have lived for thousands of years and i get that they've been turned into to school boys or w/e but they still need some traits that show they are gods like the smarts to hide the fact they are fucking psychos

ugh, anyway, as you might guess im kinda disappointed with episode 7 but I've went back and made some changes in the last two chapters to accommodate it, and im guessing i might have to go back and change stuff again when episode 8 comes out.

and idk if im going to change the reason loki does fulfil balder's hunger instead of thor because before it was perfectly okay to be like 'well he doesn't like it + his memories from when they were kids + his love for balder leaves him both hurt and wanting' but now with this sudden possessiveness there is basically no reason why he wouldn't go, so, depending on how the next episode goes, im going to either make it that Balder rejects him or Thor doesn't allow him to because Balder almost killed him when they were younger but then that wouldn't explain why Loki hates why Thor loves it and all this is going to change their relationships for the better or worse and just akjdghslkjghldfkjghkldhgwq

anyway, thank you for reading 3


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Just a gentle reminder that this fic isn't following the canon anime (but im trying my best to update it to stay as true to the anime as possible)  
**

**Sorry if this is a little dramatic. I kind of got carried away with writing OTL**

**Anyway, here is Chapter 4 - I hope you enjoy it :)**

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Thor was only four when he first met Loki. He was kept away from public view like fine china. Since the start of his training to be the next King of Asgard, before he had even learnt to walk, he was rarely given the chance to be a child, only brought out on special occasions and polished whenever his father or mother wanted a look at him.

Looking back, he realised it wasn't an ideal childhood, but compared to many of the other gods it was better than most.

At the age of four, Thor was already well practised in the art of swordplay (well, as well practiced as any four-year-old could be.) He was praised on his calm nature, his level-headedness and his problem-solving abilities, though these assumptions were always reached by placing him in front of a puzzle meant for a two-year-old and shouting at him until he had solved it.

He was used to playing with his siblings on the days when his father came to visit as he would be allowed to act like a child should, running through the halls of Valhalla while screaming and laughing with his friends. He never questioned why Balder was kept under a tight watch, or why he had never met Loki until the grand banquet celebrating yet another defeat of the Jötnar.

After bringing Loki out to be judged by the rest of the gods, forcing the young and terrified god to stand under their scrutiny for three hours, Odin pulled both Thor and Balder aside, telling them that he was their new brother and they should treat him as such. Thor was never told exactly why Loki had been brought into the family, nor that Balder's curse required him to feed once a week.

But as the year wore on, Thor began to see how Loki was treated by the other gods, how he was scorned as an unnatural thing and shunned by the parents who wouldn't let their children play with him. That, and the fact that Balder's nature resulted in him becoming one of the most isolated gods in the realm made Loki and Balder perfect for each other. Though they fought at first, Loki jealous of Balder's popularity and his natural ability to charm others, they grew closer as Loki began to see what others could not, and soon it was hard to separate the pair.

Thor, still being treated like he was made of glass by his mother and father, was kept away from them, and in his absence their bond strengthened. He never let on how lonely it made him, only pretending to be happy for them whenever they were allowed to play together.

Years later, when the boy's started to grow into men, they were finally allowed to take lessons together, learning, fighting and loving until the three were inseparable. And though he knew they didn't share blood, Thor began to call Loki his brother.

Looking back, he wished Odin had allowed him the freedom he had granted Loki and Balder. Then maybe Loki's love for him would have focused on Thor instead. But it was too late to fantasise over small wishes like that, despite how badly he wanted them to be true. Because when he saw how Loki looked at Balder he knew he could never hope to compete with that kind of love, no matter how strongly he felt.

When he realised his love for Loki went beyond that of a brother he was conflicted, thinking there was something with his mind and body but at the same time he would grow elated just being in Loki's presence. He had resolved to stay away from him to avoid hurting both Loki and himself. It wasn't until the first time he caught Balder and Loki together that he made peace with his feelings and realised he would never lost control of himself in such a way.

Though he was never happy with the way Loki was treated, Thor believed that his brother loved Balder and so he was fulfilling his needs because of this love. Thor could have never imagined what Loki had been succumbing to for all those years, not until he experienced it first hand when Balder's hunger got the better of him and it resulted in Thor being pinned to the wall and fed on. Then he understood why Loki struggled, why he cried and moaned and why he feared Balder as soon as it was done.

But for Thor it was different. Instead of shying away from the pain, instead of fearing Balder as he used his full strength to hold him down, he lavished in it. The pain, the pleasure, the fear, all of it. And he knew that it would make Loki's life easier if he didn't have to suffer the torment that Balder inflicted upon him, as well as trying to convince himself that what he was doing was an act of love rather than fear. Thor wanted to protect Loki, to save him from Balder and from himself.

After a long talk with Odin that resulted in badly veiled threats warning Thor that he could be disowned if he pursued with his request, his father agreed to Thor taking Loki's place. That, along with the condition that Huginn and Muninn bury Loki's memories and fear so deep that they could never be restored made Thor sure that Loki would be protected for the rest of his life. Thor didn't want the man he loved knowing what he had done and what Balder really was. And he vowed to never let Loki discover that that the only reason he was brought to Asgard was to fulfill Balder's need.

Though none of that had been necessary, as two years later Loki stumbled upon them and remembered nearly everything. There were certain bits and pieces missing from his memory, like the fact that Odin would hold him down so he could never escape from Balder, or that Balder enjoyed manipulating Loki into believing that he couldn't survive without Balder, but Thor would never fill in those particular blanks. The illusion of a vaguely stable family life was what Loki wanted, and Thor refused to destroy his fantasies.

By the time they had grown into men Thor was used to the pain that came with watching over Loki. The sting of his love of Balder was something of a constant ache and he quickly acknowledged that Loki would never look at him with those eyes, never smile at him in the same way and never touch him as he longed to touch Balder.

He thought he had accepted that Loki's feelings would never reach him, and that the jealousy he felt was inconsequential compared to Loki's happiness. But when he saw Loki kiss Yui, when he saw how he laughed as he spun her and how his grin widened as he dipped her and the poisonous look he sent Balder as he took her lips, time stopped. He felt as though the ground was slipping away from under his feet, that the air around him had vanished, leaving him a breathless mess as he tried to grab a hold of something real.

Because this couldn't be happening. There was no way Loki would do this, not with a human, not with her. He had said himself how boring she was, how plain and how uninteresting Balder's affections for her were. Anyone could see that Loki was deeply jealous of the attention he gave her. So why this?

His shock was deeper than anything he had felt before. It was nothing compared to when he first laid eyes on Balder and Loki, nothing to when he first discovered the truth behind Balder's curse, and nothing to when he learnt of damage Balder inflicted upon those who set out to hurt the ones he loved. Because they were things he could accept, things that he could file away in the back of his mind and that wouldn't shake his foundations to the point where he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Loki was a mischievous god. He excelled at pretending to never take life seriously. Thor had only ever seen him play childish pranks that lived up to his nature. But he was never spiteful despite everything done to him, and it was one of the reasons Thor loved him. Not once had he ever seen Loki go out of his way to cause harm to another, to hurt someone deliberately or to manipulate them into giving them the reaction he wanted. Yet when he saw how he held Yui, when he saw him slide his hand around her waist and hold her closer as her eyes fluttered shut, he couldn't handle it.

He had seen Loki like this before when Balder took him, but he was never in control. It was him tilting his head back to deepen the kiss, it was him moaning Balder's name and reaching for more, never the other way around. It must have been some kind of mistake. Maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him. Because to see Loki in control, to see a side to his brother that he had never seen before was unthinkable. He knew everything about Loki, he accepted everything about Loki and loved every part of him, but the sexual and seductive side of him that made him grin deliciously as he pulled back from Yui and lean down to whisper in her ear wasn't right. It wasn't his Loki. Because his Loki would never hurt someone in such a way.

Unless he loved Yui, loved her enough to hold her and kiss after such a short time. But that was impossible. There was no way Loki would fall in love so quickly, not when his love for Balder was so strong that it kept him anchored to his side.

Because that was something Thor had always been sure of. Loki's love of Balder. It was unchanging and it was a pain he had been prepared to deal with for the rest of their lives and yet here he was, betraying everything Thor had believed. But 'betray' was too strong a word, as there was no reason for Thor to have placed such expectations on Loki. It felt more like abandonment, more like he was being deceived by the one he thought he could believe in the most.

He didn't like this side to Loki. Of course he didn't. He liked no part of Loki that didn't love him, but that didn't mean he wouldn't accept it. But this was different. The way he touched her, the way he looked at her, the way she blushed as he purred something in her ear and her eyes flitted between Balder and Loki, when he gave a small chuckle and gently pulled her up was never something he had prepared himself to see, and so he had no idea how to react.

Because this was someone other than Balder, someone other than the man Loki loved, someone he barely knew. If he could smile and laugh like that so easily then why did he only look at Thor with dead eyes? Why was it that the only words offered to him were laced with contempt, and that even when Loki was excitedly telling him about some trick he had played or his plans to mess with someone he would always hold back his words and hiding his real self from Thor.

His mind was running wild, trying to grasp the situation while attempting to figure out what to say in his shock, what to shout in his anger or cry in his despair. In his panic he forgot about his brother.

But when Balder called Loki's name, continuing towards them where Thor had frozen. He watched the slow and jerky way that Balder walked, heard the anger and disbelief in his voice, and saw how his body had tensed.

Balder's anger was a rare thing. Like himself, he kept a tight lock on his emotions. But Balder preferred to control situations rather than predict them. Balder's need to manipulate everyone around him meant that he never had to be shocked or surprised, and it meant that he would let his untamed power grow.

Anger was the trigger. Anger and panic and desperation.

Thor had never seen it before, but from the way his brother's body shook and how a gentle light was beginning to glow around him, he could predict what would happen next if one of them didn't react.

He wasn't sure what to do. From the way Loki had pulled Yui close, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and gently caressing her arm with a thumb it was clear he was baiting Balder.

Thor began to move. Though the clearing was small, the giant trees marking the edge of the forest to their left and the school dormitories to their right, there was still enough space on the stretch of grass to allow Thor to reach Balder before he neared Yui and Loki.

Loki was mad. It was the only logical conclusion. He knew better than Thor that Balder's power would destroy them all if he didn't calm down, and from the way Loki glared at him, his eyes daring him to make a move, there was no chance of Loki soothing his anger this time.

And when he finally reached his brother, grabbing Balder's wrist and hissing at the pain his power caused as the light wrapped around him, he saw Balder's face. The normally serene eyes were marred with anger, his gentle smile a scowl of rage.

"Let me go!" He snarled, jerking his wrist from Thor's grip.

"You can't do this, Balder! What if you kill her?" Thor's words were lost in the boom that echoed out through the clearly, stealing Thor's breath and deafening him. Balder's power sped out around them, burning Thor and causing him to cry out in pain as he felt his flesh singe.

There was no chance. Balder wouldn't listen to him. Loki wouldn't stop him. Yui wouldn't be able to get close enough to calm him.

His options were few, but he still had them, and with all of his strength he drew back his hand and slammed his fist into Balder's temple.

It was a last resort, but as the god of light collapsed into his arms, his weight bringing Thor to his knees, he knew he'd made the right decision.

Sparks of light fizzled out around Balder's body, and though the ground beneath him was scorched, Yui and Loki were safe.

He held back his sigh as he tightened his grip around Balder, lifting his unconscious brother up and holding him in his arms. He forced Balder's arm around his shoulder to keep him stable, resting his head against his chest.

He'd never noticed how light Balder was until now.

He turned his back to Loki. He didn't want to look at him. He wasn't sure if he could bear to see him holding onto Yui, or to see the way she clung to him. He couldn't stand the idea that Loki may choose to stay with her than follow them, and as he began to carry Balder back to their dorm he suppressed his anger. He needed to focus on the moment. Protect Balder and the others. Getting angry now would do them no good.

And so he held his head high as he walked, ignoring the distant sound of Yui's voice as he went to care for his brother.

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**AN: Thank you for reading so far. Again, I'm not too thrilled with this chapter so I'll come back and edit it at some point.**

**I just want to say I was overwhelmed by the positive reviews and support from the last chapter. I can't thank you enough and I'm so glad that people are enjoying this. ^_^**

**I think the next piece I'll be starting is a BalderxApollon fic for the 30 fics challenge, so keep an eye on the Kamigami no Asobi tag and it'll pop up soon :)**


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